I realized something that I wish I'd understood earlier in my life.

I'm forever concerned with titles and the like. I like to *have* titles, to be in an organizational structure.

I've had problems with this attitude -- I've been told I'm power-hungry, rules-oriented, etc. I've never understood it, because I really don't see myself in that manner. Then, while I was almost asleep, I figured it out.

A lot of people seem to associate concern over titles, job descriptions, rules, etc. as part of the power structure -- and rightly so. These are things which connote power in our society, and the structure places people into different authority structures and different power responsibilities. By my having so much emphasis on these kinds of structures, I've been perceived as part of that power-hungry group.

Of course, the problem is that its an assumption, not a reality. I've always been the new kid (I've moved 19 times in my life -- 14 time by 7th grade) and so I've always been hyper-sensitive to how/where I belong. Positions, titles, awards, etc -- items of pride, or power for others -- are simply "place-markers" for me. Like little cards at a fancy dinner, showing where I'm supposed to sit.

It's so amazing to finally figure out why so many people used to think I was power-hungry and ambitious.