Fandom: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon: Sailor Stars (anime)
Date Finished:
Classification: Romance, Humor, Angst
Pairing: Seiya/Yaten, references to past Fighter/Kakyuu, shades of Seiya/Usagi
Rating: NC-17

Give Unto Me
By Elsewhere
elsewherecw@shaw.ca

All other information in Part One.

Part Sixteen: Eternal

Glossary:
ano - um
baka - idiot
doushite? - why?
e? - huh?
hitori ni…shinai de - don’t leave me…alone
ikanai de - don’t go
ita - ow
kuso - shit
nande? - why?
ne - sort of like ‘eh’ or ‘hey’…a word used to emphasize a point or get someone’s attention
oi - hey
sensei - doctor, in this case

*****
Hold and speak to me
Of love without a sound
Tell me you will live through this
And I will die for you
*****

Television succeeded in distracting Seiya for a little less than an hour, although Yaten was fairly sure Seiya wasn’t really paying any more attention to the shows than he was. Every few minutes Seiya would speak up to comment on something or to ask Yaten some kind of inane question. At one point he even asked Yaten whether he thought the cheese that came in a cheeseburger was real or fake, and Yaten was forced to conclude that either Seiya’s head injury was seriously affecting him, or he was bored. A few times, Yaten had to go to the kitchen to refill Seiya’s water glass; he seemed extremely thirsty, and Yaten wasn’t sure whether that was a good sign or not. After the fourth refill, Seiya spoke up to apologize and said that the next time he could get his own. He got to his feet to demonstrate, only to sway dangerously and collapse back onto the couch with a muffled swear.

"Baka…I said I’d take care of it, so I’ll take care of it," Yaten snapped at him, watching as Seiya closed his eyes and rubbed his head.

"You did?" Seiya mumbled, looking up, his eyes still a bit bleary with dizziness.

/Oh…that was to Taiki,/ Yaten reminded himself, frowning. "Yes…I’m taking care of you tonight, the same way you always take care of us. So just…let me, this once…ne?"

His last words had become an awkward stumble, and he lowered his eyes to focus on his hands where they rested in his lap, looking small and useless.

"…Yeah…thanks," Seiya breathed after a moment, sounding so stunned that Yaten lifted his eyes and met Seiya’s gaze. They stared at each other for a moment until Seiya suddenly turned away. Yaten blinked, wondering if he’d actually seen a blush start on Seiya’s uncovered cheek. Maybe Seiya was coming down with a fever.

"Since when do I take care of you?" Seiya said quietly, once more staring at the TV, but his eyes were glazed over, not taking in the program.

"Mm? What are you talking about?" Yaten asked, brow furrowing as he continued to stare at Seiya’s profile, his feelings of puzzlement growing deeper the longer he stared. That feeling of failure was bubbling up within Seiya again---Yaten could feel it if he let his guard slip just enough---and it was incomprehensible to Yaten.

Seiya sighed quietly, rubbing his forehead again and frowning slightly.

"Nothing," he muttered, keeping his eyes closed.

Yaten frowned at him for a moment in silence before he leaned over and placed a cool hand against Seiya’s forehead, startling Seiya into opening his eyes and glancing towards the older boy.

"You’re a bit warm, but I don’t think you’re getting a fever," Yaten said, expression altering to show some of his concern. "Are you in pain?"

"E? Ah…just a little bit," Seiya said, the tension draining from his face in his surprise when he saw the worry on Yaten’s face.

Yaten kept his hand against Seiya’s forehead for a moment, using the connection to brush his own mind against Seiya’s for the briefest moment, just enough to feel the surface.

"Liar," he murmured, clucking his tongue lightly. "Your body and your mind say differently. You’re really in pain, aren’t you?"

Seiya paled slightly, trying to draw away from Yaten’s grasp.

"I thought you didn’t do that without permission," he said, sounding more unnerved than accusatory.

"You leave me no choice," Yaten said quietly, narrowing a disapproving look at the younger man. "I only felt your basic emotions of the moment, just enough to tell me that you weren’t speaking the truth. There’s no shame in being injured and feeling pain, Seiya."

Seiya frowned again.

"I know, but…"

"Lean forward," Yaten said firmly, hands coming to rest on Seiya’s shoulders and lightly pushing him.

"E? What are you…?"

"Just lean forward," Yaten said, rolling his eyes and pushing more firmly until Seiya finally bent forward and dropped his head, following the motions of Yaten’s hands on his shoulders and head. Yaten felt Seiya stiffen slightly when Yaten slid up behind him, and Yaten sighed. "Relax. I’m not going to hurt you."

Seiya caught his breath as he felt Yaten kneel behind him and clench his knees tightly on either side of Seiya’s hips, holding him firmly in place. He was about to speak up, to ask again what Yaten thought he was doing, when he felt Yaten place his cool, gentle hands lightly against the back of Seiya’s neck, and for some reason, Seiya felt a shiver run through his entire body.

"Relax," Yaten murmured. /I may not be able to heal your injuries, Seiya, but I can take your pain./ "Don’t struggle; accept me into you and there will be no pain."

It wasn’t the first time in his life that Seiya had heard those words, and Seiya opened his mouth to say something but once again stopped, voice choking in his throat as he suddenly felt an unbearable heat against the back of his neck, and then the familiar sensation of Healer’s power flowing into his body. At first it was incredibly painful, feeling something that intense invading his body, but it didn’t take long before experience and Yaten’s words reminded him to stop seeing it as an invasion; to accept Healer’s energy as a part of himself. After that, it took only a few moments before the pain he’d been feeling before was gone, drowned beneath the warm sensation of Healer’s essence flowing through him. He came back to himself slowly, realizing with a start that he was breathing raggedly, and that for some reason, he was mildly aroused. Being so close to Yaten…for a moment, feeling Yaten as a part of himself…somehow, it always got to him this way. He hoped Yaten wouldn’t notice.

His eyes snapped open as he suddenly realized the position he and Yaten were in. Yaten was still behind him, but whereas Yaten had been loosely holding him up before, he was now the one sitting straight up and Yaten was slumped against his back, head resting against Seiya’s shoulder and arms wrapped loosely around Seiya’s chest.

"Yaten? Yaten, are you okay?" he whispered, bringing up a hand to touch Yaten’s. He wondered if Yaten had given him too much of his power…over-exerted himself…he had been tired too, after all…

"I’m fine," Yaten breathed lightly against Seiya’s shoulder, and after a moment he lifted his head and smiled slightly. "Did that help?"

"It…it felt incredible," Seiya said, deciding to be totally honest, as far as he was able. He turned around, still holding Yaten’s hand as he met Yaten’s eyes. "You didn’t have to…"

"I wanted to," Yaten interjected, shaking his head, and after another moment he extracted his hand and pulled away, moving slowly across the couch and lying down with an arm across his eyes. "Mm…you really were in pain."

"Can you feel my pain, when you do that?" Seiya asked, brow furrowing.

"Sort of…not the same way you feel it, though," Yaten murmured.

"I’m sorry," Seiya said softly.

"Shh…I told you…I wanted to," Yaten whispered, and then he was silent, and Seiya allowed him his quiet, unsure of what he could say.

He returned to idly watching the TV, but less than a whole episode had gone by before he felt himself slipping into unconsciousness. He blinked and sat up straighter, forcing his eyes open wider, but within moments he was sliding down into a slump and his eyes were falling closed again. He tried to keep awake, he truly did, but it was becoming such a chore and he was so tired he was beginning to forget why he was supposed to stay awake…

"Oi, Seiya!"

Abruptly, Seiya felt a presence against his side, and when he sleepily turned to see what it was, he could barely make out Yaten’s form wavering next to him. Almost without realizing it, he tipped over and the next thing he knew, he was leaning with his forehead on Yaten’s shoulder, just like in the car.

"Seiya! Wake up!" Yaten snapped, directly into Seiya’s ear.

"I…I can’t, Yaten…too tired…" Seiya murmured woozily as he blinked his eyes a last few valiant times before letting them fall closed.

"Oi! Seiya!"

Mere seconds later, as far as he knew, he was thrown forcefully back into wakefulness when a shock of what felt suspiciously like electricity hit his spine. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make him yelp.

"Ita!! Healer!" he yelled, glancing over just in time to watch as Yaten lowered the two fingers he’d lifted as he’d summoned his power, this time mildly destructive rather than healing.

"It woke you, didn’t it?" Yaten snapped back. "You have to stay awake, Seiya!"

Seiya frowned, already feeling sleep creeping back up on him.

"I know, but…"

"Tell me what to do to keep you awake," Yaten interrupted, sounding both annoyed and determined. Seiya blinked, turning to stare at Yaten.

"…Huh?"

"I’ll keep you up all night if I have to," Yaten said, eyes flashing with the intensity of his determination, and Seiya fought the sudden urge to laugh. "Just tell me what to do."

Seiya thought for little more than a moment before he sat back against the couch and smiled.

"Tell me a story," he said, and he smirked when Yaten’s bluster faltered at this suggestion.

"E?" Yaten said, lip twitching slightly.

"Tell me a story. Talk to me. Let me hear your voice," Seiya said, lifting an eyebrow in mild challenge and smiling when Yaten frowned.

"I…don’t know any stories," he said quietly.

"Make something up."

Yaten opened his mouth, frozen in thought for a moment, before he growled wordlessly.

"I can’t think of anything," he said, cheeks turning red in his exasperation. "Can’t I…can’t we just talk?"

Seiya laughed.

"Aw, you’re no fun. But fine…talking’ll do. But what are we going to talk about?"

Yaten thought about that, and was only mildly surprised to find that a topic came to mind immediately…a topic that made him blush lightly. This made Seiya blink in surprise, watching as Yaten turned away, embarrassed.

"Actually, I have something I wanted to talk to you about," Yaten said quietly.

"What is it?" Seiya asked, Yaten’s strange behavior making him curious.

Yaten swallowed before turning to meet Seiya’s eyes.

"Sex," he said bluntly.

Seiya’s jaw dropped open.

"Sex?" he echoed, and then he realized how loudly he’d repeated Yaten and winced before lowering his voice and saying it again. "Sex? As in, the horizontal tango?"

Yaten’s brow creased.

"What are you talking about?"

"Er…nothing much," Seiya said, smiling. Well, that answered that question. "Ano…what exactly about sex did you want to talk about?"

"Ano…I guess my question isn’t so much about sex as it is about everything else." When Yaten saw Seiya’s look of confusion, he cleared his throat, blush reddening as he continued. "I mean, I guess I want to talk about attraction…infatuation…love."

"Oh…I see," Seiya said, truly surprised now as he leaned back against the couch, completely awake by this point in the conversation. It was completely unlike Yaten to be interested in topics like love and sex, as their recent fights about those topics had demonstrated. Usually, Yaten detested any discussion of such topics, particularly in reference to himself.

After an uncomfortable silence began to stretch into several moments, Seiya eventually realized that he was going to have to get Yaten started somehow.

"So…?" he said, hoping it would be enough of a nudge.

"So…" Yaten said, staring down at his hands again. "Ano…so…how do you know…that you’re attracted to someone?"

For a moment Seiya was silent, long enough that Yaten finally closed his eyes, embarrassed and cursing himself for asking. His heart was beating a million miles per minute, and he was hoping desperately that his questions were vague enough not to tip Seiya off to the direction he was getting at. /What is it I’m feeling towards you, Seiya…?/

"Well…everyone is different," Seiya said finally, sounding a bit shell-shocked.

Yaten’s head snapped up, the look in his eyes so hopeful that Seiya felt shock flow through his body yet again.

"Yeah, I know, but…what do *you* feel when you’re attracted to someone?"

"Me?" Seiya said, shifting a bit uncomfortably. "Ano…well…"

Another glance at the hopeful look on Yaten’s face and Seiya crumbled, deciding to put aside his own discomfort.

"Well…I feel a lot of different things. Sometimes the first sign is that, whenever I’m around them, I feel this weird tightness in my stomach, like a stomachache. Then, if I’m around the person more, my heartbeat sometimes speeds up, and if I start to feel more and more attracted to the person, sometimes the tightness moves to my chest, and it feels hard to breathe. Those are just the physical signs. Of course there are signs like finding myself always thinking about that person, wanting to be around them more and more…maybe even dreaming about them…"

"Yeah…I know that feeling," Yaten said suddenly, startling Seiya into silence yet again. Yaten had leaned forward, seeming excited. A pink flush of exhiliration heated his cheeks, and his brilliant green eyes sparkled. The effect was incredible, making him look even younger and more beautiful than usual. Seiya couldn’t look away, breath caught in his throat. "And whenever you’re around them, you feel like you don’t ever want to leave, because it feels so good to be with them. Even if it feels uncomfortable, that feeling like you can’t really breathe, and that tightness in your stomach…it still feels so good, to be there with them…"

Yaten trailed off into silence when he saw the look Seiya was giving him, and then he seemed to realize what he’d been saying and suddenly he blushed more deeply than ever and dropped his eyes.

"Yaten…it seems like you already know what it’s like to be attracted to someone," Seiya said a bit breathlessly, completely stunned. He’d never thought Yaten, of all people, would have a crush on someone. Oddly, he found himself a bit jealous on top of feeling shock.

"…No…I was speaking hypothetically…" Yaten muttered, frowning slightly, but even if Seiya hadn’t been sure, the note of doubt in Yaten’s voice gave him away.

"No…you were speaking from experience," Seiya countered, a smirk coming to his lips. "Now who’s the liar? Who is it, Yaten? Who’ve you got a crush on? Is it anyone I know?"

"E? I…no, it’s nothing like…" Yaten began, shaking his head quickly, but Seiya was excited by then, leaning over into Yaten’s personal space in an attempt to throw Yaten off guard enough to let the name slip.

"Who is it? Come on, tell me! Is it Aino-san?"

"Who?" Yaten said blankly, and then he quickly shook his head in the next second. "No…no, it isn’t Aino-san!"

"So there is someone!" Seiya said, pointing at Yaten, who gave a sharp cry and covered his face with both hands, realizing that he had managed to walk into Seiya’s trap. "Well, Aino-san is crazy about you, you know. Hm…who could it be…Kino-san? Hino-san?"

"E!? No!!"

"Somebody I don’t know? Come on, spill it!"

"No, never!" Yaten snapped, shaking his head and quickly moving over to the other end of the couch, now frowning deeply. "I shouldn’t have mentioned it."

"Aw, come on, Yaten!" Seiya said, laughing when Yaten stubbornly shook his head. "Well, I’ll find out eventually! I’m dying to know who finally caught your attention."

Yaten just grunted at that, which only made Seiya laugh harder.

"What’s so funny?" a soft voice interrupted, and both of them looked up as Taiki came down the stairs, dressed in a pair of flannel pajamas and wearing his reading glasses perched on the end of his nose.

"Yaten’s got a crush on somebody!" Seiya shouted, and Yaten groaned, putting a hand over his face. "He won’t tell me who it is, though."

"Is that so?" Taiki said, feigning disinterest, but his eyes betrayed his shock as he slowly bent in front of Seiya, finally making the reason for his presence known as he pulled out a penlight and shined it into Seiya’s eyes, peering at his pupils’ reactions. As Taiki finished and knelt back to look at Seiya’s pupils in the ordinary light, he briefly glanced at Yaten from over the rim of his glasses. "Is she someone we know, at least?"

"Not you too," Yaten grumbled, and then he blinked and suddenly sat up. "And why do you both assume it’s a ‘she’ anyway!?"

Both Seiya and Taiki smiled slightly but declined to answer the question.

"So what’s the verdict, sensei?" Seiya asked Taiki as Taiki adjusted his glasses on his nose.

"Your pupils are reacting normally to light," Taiki said with a smile, nodding when Seiya looked hopeful. "Your concussion seems to be gone."

Seiya gave a quick whoop of joy, then sat back, grinning and turning to Yaten.

"You know, now that I *can* go to sleep, I’m completely awake."

Yaten rolled his eyes and Taiki chuckled.

"I think I’ll take a bath…think that’d be okay?" Seiya asked Taiki, and Taiki hesitated before answering.

"It should be fine, but Seiya…*don’t* fall asleep in the bath," Taiki said sternly. "Draw a shallow bath if you think there’s even a possibility of it happening, please."

"Yeah…you can’t drown on us now, baka," Yaten snapped, and Seiya grinned.

"Uh-huh, I get it," he said before he got to his feet and started up the stairs.

As Seiya disappeared into the upstairs hallway, Taiki settled lightly onto the couch next to Yaten, crossing one leg over the other and sitting in silence for several moments. He didn’t even bother feigning an interest in what was on the television; he just sat there, facing forward, hands folded in his lap, as though he was waiting for something to happen. Yaten knew full well that Taiki knew that this would eventually drive him nuts…which it did.

"Goddamn it, Taiki…if you want to ask, just ask. It’s more annoying for you to just sit there like a statue when it’s obvious you want something. So irritating," Yaten snapped in a long stream, finally stopping to take a quick breath and letting it out in an annoyed puff between pursed lips as he turned away. Luckily, he wasn’t looking when Taiki responded to this with a patient smile. It probably would have angered him further.

"All right, then…" Taiki said, still smiling as he turned to look at Yaten. He reached up to take off his glasses in the hope that he might not look quite so clinical without them. "Is it true?"

Yaten sighed loudly, dropping his forehead to rest against his arms where they were crossed over his raised knees.

"Yes."

"Hm." Taiki rubbed his forehead. "Well…to be perfectly honest, I’m glad that someone finally caught your interest, Yaten. But…"

Yaten lifted his head slightly.

"But…?" he repeated, surprised to hear Taiki’s hesitation.

"I…just hope that you don’t get hurt," Taiki said quietly, reaching out to lightly touch Yaten’s arm.

Yaten snorted softly.

"Don’t worry…nothing will come of this," Yaten murmured, turning away. He was surprised by the note of bitterness he heard in his own voice. "There’s no way that…the person…can ever know."

"…Why is that?" Taiki asked quietly.

Yaten closed his eyes, thinking back to the last few conversations he’d had with Taiki…remembering that knowing look in his eyes.

"Don’t ask me ‘why’, Taiki…you don’t need to ask why, do you?" Yaten turned, bright lime-colored eyes narrowing at Taiki from over Yaten’s crossed arms. "Don’t lie to me, Taiki."

Taiki tilted his head slightly and then smiled a bit, lifting his hands, palms up.

"That’s why I’m asking…why?" Taiki asked again, the question in his dark lavender eyes so sincere that Yaten blinked, lifting his head. "Without knowing anything…without trying anything…you’ve given up?"

Yaten stared at Taiki, mouth hanging open slightly.

"But…she’s…he’s…" Yaten began, then growled softly and dropped his head, aware that he didn’t even know how to vocalize his reasons. Why was he so sure he couldn’t have Seiya? He knew well that Seiya was attracted to him, and that there was the possibility of something more… Was it because of that girl, Tsukino Usagi? Was it because of their missing princess?

Or was it because of himself? Because he was so unsure of himself, of what he felt…or even of what he was…

"…I am…" Yaten whispered finally, staring down at his hands, surprised to feel the tears welling up in his eyes. He felt Taiki’s hand on his shoulder again, and when he glanced over he saw Taiki’s eyes, so familiar, bright with sympathy.

"I know," Taiki murmured, pulling Yaten into a gentle hug. "I know how difficult it is, and I know that sometimes it seems like the easiest thing would be to give up, to sink into darkness and never return, but Yaten…I know that you dream…if you feel even the slightest inclination to pursue those dreams, then don’t let intellect keep you from following them."

Yaten caught his breath, glancing up at Taiki in shock, surprised to see the gentle smile on Taiki’s face. There had been a time when Taiki never would have said something like that, but Yaten was startled to realize that it must have been that girl, that Mizuno-kun…whatever she had said or done to Taiki not too long ago, that night in the rain…she really had changed Taiki.

"Yes…" Yaten whispered finally, gently drawing himself out of Taiki’s grasp and moving away, up the stairs. Taiki followed him after a moment and the two of them separated into their rooms. Yaten waited until he’d heard Taiki’s door close before he opened his own door and moved back out into the darkened hallway, slowly making his way over to the bathroom door. He wanted to talk to Seiya…he didn’t think he could wait.

He placed his hands against the door and opened his mouth to speak quietly through the door, but paused just as he was about to say Seiya’s name as he suddenly felt a pulse of odd emotion reach him, coming from Seiya. He stiffened, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck raise as worry flickered through his mind. That odd feeling coming from Seiya…what was happening to him? Was he in danger!?

He was about to knock, to ask if Seiya was all right, when he felt a stronger pulse of the same feeling, and this time it was accompanied by vocal confirmation…the soft, muffled sound of Seiya’s moan.

Yaten froze. Seiya didn’t sound like he was in pain…and that feeling pushing lightly against his empathic barriers…now that he thought about it, it felt just vaguely like other emotions of Seiya’s he’d felt in the past…it felt like…

It felt like Seiya’s arousal.

Yaten nearly swore the next time he heard the quiet sound of Seiya’s moan, this time cut off in the middle as though Seiya had bitten his lip. Yaten’s hands tightened against the door and he felt his stomach clench. What was Seiya doing that was making him feel like that!? It was like the arousal he’d felt before, yes, but it was intense…so intense, and building with every second…it felt…actually, it felt almost like Yaten himself had felt, that day in the shower, except better…

/"I meant…do you ever touch yourself…here."/

Yaten’s eyes flew wide open as the realization hit him like a ton of bricks and he nearly stumbled into the door, only to sharply pull himself back, clamping both hands over his mouth to keep himself from crying out. Was that what Seiya was doing in there!? Gods!! And here Yaten was, standing outside the door like some kind of pervert, and he was…

Another wave of pleasure slammed hard against Yaten’s barriers and this time he did stumble, stopping himself just before he hit the door, holding himself up with both hands as he fought to catch his breath and tried desperately not to groan out loud. Oh gods…what was this doing to him!? He had to get away…this wasn’t right…he couldn’t let himself feel this…

This time he had to bite his lip to keep from moaning when he felt the pulse of Seiya’s pleasure hit him, and he turned around, resting back against the door for a moment, staring ahead into the dark hallway in near-panic.

/I…have to get away from here…quickly…/

With each passing moment he got the sinking feeling that it was too late, because Seiya was spiraling farther and farther towards something inevitable that Yaten didn’t quite understand, his feelings of arousal and pleasure growing more powerful every second, and Yaten couldn’t seem to pull himself away…

He was biting his lip hard enough to draw blood now as he turned around and pressed his forehead hard against the door, willing himself to move away but somehow aware that his body wouldn’t obey him. He was caught, his own emotions---made fragile by exhaustion and his mental state---starting to meld with Seiya’s until he wasn’t sure which one of them was more aroused anymore. For the first time in his life he could feel the uncomfortable sensation of an erection pressing against pants that suddenly seemed too tight, but he ignored that, ignored everything except the emotions flowing from Seiya into his own body. He tried to remain silent, but his heartbeat was so loud in his own ears he was sure it must be audible to the whole house.

He began to feel like he was reaching towards something, like both he and Seiya were straining towards some eventual conclusion, and he fought against the urge to moan at the thought…anything greater than this was sure to kill him, he thought…he didn’t think his knees could hold him up any longer…

And then something burst against his mind and he felt some kind of intense, infinitely sweet explosion of emotion slam into him from Seiya’s direction, powerful enough that he stumbled backwards, ending up on his butt on the floor, fighting to catch his breath. He sat there for several moments, blinking in shock, before he started to feel again. He crawled towards the closed bathroom door, frowning slightly as he realized that Seiya’s feelings had entirely changed now that it…whatever had been happening…was over.

Now the feelings reaching him from Seiya were those of a soft, regretful sort of sorrow, disappointment, and most of all, a sharp, lingering bitterness.

"Kuso," Yaten heard Seiya whisper, the word echoing curtly off the walls of the bathroom, and then Yaten heard several splashes. Yaten blinked and then swore under his own breath when he realized what the sounds meant. Seiya was getting out of the bath.

Yaten quickly scrambled to his feet and ducked into his bedroom, quietly closing the door behind himself and throwing his clothes off as hastily as he could before he dove into his bed. He let out another muffled curse when he slid harshly against his sheets, feeling pain in places he didn’t usually leave exposed to the air. Whatever had happened to Seiya a few moments ago, whatever conclusion he had managed to reach that had changed his pleasure and his pleasant emotions into bitterness and pain…that hadn’t happened to Yaten, and he was suddenly painfully aware of the fact that he was still aroused. He quickly turned on his back, wincing as his erection rubbed against the sheets. Gods, it was sensitive! If he could just…

He froze just as he’d been trying to figure out what to do, hearing the bathroom door opening. Yaten remained still, not breathing, as he heard Seiya’s door open and then close, and then Yaten let out his breath and turned over, grunting when he again caught his erection against the bed. The sensation made him shudder. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted it.

He tried to ignore it…to find some peace…but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t stop thinking of the things Seiya had been feeling, and the way those feelings had made Yaten react. Yaten groaned into his pillow as he felt his erection jump in reaction. Why wouldn’t it just…go away!? He knew from experience that they did, but this one was persistent.

"That’s enough," he whispered harshly as he turned over and closed his eyes, summoning his magic for a moment. He felt it move through his body, felt the changes taking effect, and expected to feel some sort of relief. Instead, as her male form faded away, her arousal didn’t dissipate, although the form of it did change slightly. Now, instead of having an erection, she felt a deep, pulsing ache within her, and an almost unbearable heat between her thighs.

She swore again softly as she turned onto her stomach, burying her face in the pillow and willing herself to go to sleep. But it didn’t do any good. She just kept hearing those low, delicious moans that Seiya had been making in the bathroom echoing through her memory…

She bit her lip to keep from moaning herself as she turned onto her back, and her eyes flew wide when she realized that her hand had been moving slowly down her stomach. What was she doing!?

/"I meant…do you ever touch yourself…here."/

She felt a hot blush coming to her cheeks as her hand came to rest against her lower belly. Was that what she wanted? she questioned herself. Did she want to touch herself, to try to seek some relief from this?

/But…I don’t know how…/

She could just picture Seiya, smirking and telling her just to go with whatever her body told her. She frowned slightly, taking a deep breath and letting herself relax back against the pillows, trying to will herself to keep going the way she’d been going before. She started by rubbing her hand in slow circles over her belly, raising goosebumps on her skin as she went, making herself shiver. Then she moved her hand down and stroked her inner thigh, and she nearly gasped out loud at the sensation that shivered up her spine. She’d never realized how sensitive her skin could be there. By instinct, she drew up one leg, raising her knee, as her hand continued its exploration.

The next thing she tried was lightly brushing her fingers through the thatch of silvery curls at the apex of her thighs, moving her hand lower with each pass until her fingers started sliding against the liquid heat of her labia. She shuddered deeply at the sensation, slipping her fingers deeper into the warm folds, and then stiffened suddenly at the feeling of pleasure that shot through her body when her fingers encountered something unfamiliar to her. She bit her lip to keep from groaning as she paused, running her fingers over that spot again, focusing and finding there a small nub of flesh covered by a sheath of skin. It felt so good to touch that spot, to rub it…but at the same time, it hurt a little bit…it was too sensitive, maybe. She decided to move on for the moment, to focus on the place that was pulsing so demandingly.

She caught her breath, the sound harsh and ragged in the still air, when her fingers first brushed against her inner labia. Oh stars…so wet…and hot…she’d had no idea her body could produce so much heat, and so much of this slick liquid… Suddenly, she was extremely curious about what it was like. She swirled her fingers once more around the opening of her vagina, gasping softly at the sensations that flickered through her, and then brought her hand up to her face, first inhaling deeply, surprised at her own eagerness to do something she might once have thought unclean. She was even more surprised to find that she judged herself to smell…really, *really* good. Even more shocking was the fact that she tasted even better…she discovered this as she lightly twirled her tongue around her fingertips, unable to keep herself from exploring the taste of something that smelled so intriguing. She moaned quietly at this aspect of her self-exploration. She wasn’t really aware of the concept of sensuality, but something about this seemed surreal and…beautiful, somehow.

She performed her previous actions over again in the same order she’d done them before, starting with rubbing her stomach and ending with her fingers lightly probing at and caressing her inner labia. By the time she’d completed all of this the second time, she was arching up off the bed, gasping for breath, feeling like she was losing control of her body. Something was building within her now…she could feel it…but she didn’t know what it was building towards…was this what Seiya had been feeling? She’d felt something like this earlier, vicariously, but it hadn’t really been anywhere near this powerful…

She let herself follow instinct again, and this time it led her to carefully slide one slender finger deep into herself. She gasped and arched, fighting the urge to cry out. The feeling of something penetrating into her was…incredibly different. It hurt, a bit. But it felt good…she liked the way the soft, warm walls of her vagina gripped her finger as though wanting something more. She felt something tighten within her, another move towards whatever she was seeking. She started to slide her finger out, then pressed it back in, gasping again at the sensation that was created. She decided to keep up that motion, but after a moment it didn’t seem like enough. She tried pushing a second finger in to join the first, and at first she hesitated, wincing. *That* hurt…she could feel her skin stretching as she tried to work the second finger inside, and it stung, sharper than most pains she allowed herself to endure outside of battle. In most cases she would have given up at that point, but somehow, she didn’t want to just yet…she kept trying, gritting her teeth against the pain as she started to slide both fingers in and out, regaining her former rhythm. After a moment the pain started to blend into the previous pleasure, and she breathed out another quiet moan, lifting her other knee and shaking her head lightly against the pillow. Gods…it felt good, but it wasn’t enough…

She dropped her other hand to join the first, and as the one hand continued to slowly pump two fingers in and out of her body, she slid the fingers of her other hand against her outer labia until they were slick with her fluids, then sought around until she found the nub of flesh she’d discovered earlier. She caught her breath again when her thumb brushed against it, sending shockwaves of sensation shooting through her. Gods, what *was* that!? She’d really only touched herself down there to clean herself before, and she’d certainly never noticed this oversensitive bundle of nerves. She replaced her thumb with her first and second fingers, rubbing them in slow circles around the nub, stimulating it as gently as she could but still feeling herself responding intensely, her hips starting to lift off the bed as though seeking something. She fought against the groan that built up in her throat.

She could really feel something building up within her now, the pleasure rising towards some kind of peak, and she knew instinctively that she was working towards something…something like what she had felt from Seiya during that last moment. It seemed so close to her, and the closer she got to it, the more she began to desperately strain for it, her breath coming fast and hard now, her hands working furiously, toes curled against the bed. It was…so…close…

And yet so far…why couldn’t she find it!? Her eyes flew open as she realized that somehow, it was escaping her…the harder she worked for it, the more it seemed to elude her. She was running up against some kind of barrier…there was something in the way…and the pain was incredible…there was pleasure, still, but it was so intense by now, and she needed that *something*, that conclusion, so badly, that it had become agony. She could feel tears in her eyes now as she struggled, gasping in each breath as she tried to reach whatever it was that awaited her…and failed.

Something broke in her as she realized that she couldn’t do it…that no matter how hard she tried, she wasn’t going to find it. Her hands fell to either side and she let her head slump back against the bed, still for no more than a second…and then she let out a sharp cry, muffled by her pillow as she turned and buried her face in it, slamming her fists against the bed as she lay face down.

"Nande!? Doushite!?" she whispered harshly against the pillow as she cried, sobbing helplessly. "Doushite…"

*****

Seiya sat up for a long time, idly rubbing at his wet hair and staring at his reflection in the mirror---he did look horrible, he thought, staring at the battered side of his face---as he thought of all that had happened today, starting with his injury and ending with his experiences in the bathroom a little under an hour before. Everything that he and Yaten had been talking about had led him to feel aroused, and he had decided to give himself a break for once. How much could it hurt, he’d though, to touch himself? It had been a while, after all.

But he’d been wrong. Even as he’d reached a surprisingly intense orgasm, all he could think about was Yaten…and somehow, just thinking of Yaten had made the experience taste like ashes in his mouth. Instead of feeling a pleasant afterglow, all Seiya had felt was bitter disappointment, and he wasn’t even entirely sure why.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. This was getting unbearable. He wasn’t even sure what ‘this’ was…but he knew it had to stop. Especially now that Yaten had admitted to being interested in someone, Seiya knew that he had to give up on this…infatuation, or whatever it was, with Yaten.

Seiya sighed, glancing over towards the clock. Yaten would probably be asleep by now. He hoped that Yaten would have been able to get to sleep…maybe it wouldn’t hurt to check on him, just in case. At least, that’s what he told himself…if he was honest, he wanted to see Yaten…to make sure that he was sleeping peacefully not for Yaten’s sake, but for his own, because he might sleep easier having seen Yaten at peace.

He placed the towel aside and debated on whether to put his hair up in the standard ponytail or not, ending up deciding on leaving it down. He made his way to Yaten’s room silently, slipping inside and closing the door behind himself before tiptoeing across the carpet to Yaten’s bed.

He felt his breath catch harshly in his throat when he caught sight of her, illuminated by a sliver of moonlight spilling through her partly-open curtains. She was curled up on her side, the covers drawn up over her breasts and pressed tightly under her arm, her hands close up by her face and curled into tight fists. Even if she hadn’t looked so fetal, as though she was trying to protect herself in her sleep, her cheeks were streaked with dried tear tracks.

"Yaten…what are you doing to yourself?" Seiya whispered, finding himself bending down before he could stop himself, his fingers tracing the tears down the length of her pale cheek. "Gods…it kills me to see you hurt…"

She stirred slightly and let out a soft whimper, and he drew back his hand, the look on his face clenching into intense concern as he saw the look of pain that seemed to come over her own face.

"Seiya…" she whispered, and Seiya leaned down again.

"What? I’m here," Seiya said softly, but when there was no response and she continued to breathe deeply and evenly, the look on her face eventually becoming more peaceful, he realized with shock that she was still asleep. Why would she whisper his name in her sleep?

He stared down at her silently for several more minutes before he finally turned, reluctantly, to go back to his own room.

"Seiya…"

He froze, turning back, opening his mouth to reply and then freezing when he realized that she was talking in her sleep again.

"Ikanai de…" she whispered, her forehead creased, and when he bent closer he could see her eyes moved rapidly beneath her eyelids. She was dreaming. His own forehead furrowed in concern as he watched fresh tears start to leak from the corners of her eyes. "Hitori ni…shinai de…Seiya…"

He could feel his heart in his throat…he felt like crying himself. He contemplated waking her, asking her what was wrong, or just holding her…trying to tell her that he wasn’t going anywhere, and that whatever she was dreaming was just that, a dream…but then her face evened out again and she fell silent.

"I won’t," he whispered into the dark, closing his eyes. "I could never leave you, Healer. Not you, not Maker, not Kakyuu-hime…none of you. You’ll never be alone."

He couldn’t leave her then…she’d practically begged him not to, even if it was in her sleep…so he ended up settling himself onto the bed next to her, at first being careful not to touch her. But it didn’t take long before she shifted closer in her sleep, and then she was snuggling up against him, mumbling something incomprehensible as she pressed closer. Whether she was simply seeking a warm body or whether she somehow knew it was him, he wasn’t sure, but he gently wrapped his arms around her and stroked his hands through her hair, cradling her to his chest. After that, it was only a matter of moments before he fell asleep, his chin resting against the top of her head.

*****

END PART SIXTEEN