Fandom: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon: Sailor Stars (anime)
Date Finished:
Classification: Romance, Humor, Angst
Pairing: Seiya/Yaten, references to past Fighter/Kakyuu, shades of Seiya/Usagi
Rating: NC-17

Give Unto Me
By Elsewhere
elsewherecw@shaw.ca

All other information in Part One.

Part Seven: Sound Asleep

Glossary:
"Aisuru Mamo-chan" - ‘aisuru’ is the verb ‘to love’, but when Usagi uses it to begin her letters, it’s generally translated as something like, "My beloved Mamo-chan."
ano - um
ano baka - that idiot
bento - lunch box
hai - yes; okay
moshi moshi - hello (on the phone); also used to get someone’s attention, the same way an English speaker would say, "Earth to (insert name)!"
ne - sort of like ‘eh’ or ‘hey’…a word used to emphasize a point or get someone’s attention
Odango - dumpling---Seiya’s affectionate nickname for Usagi
saa - now

*****
Why should I care if they hurt you
Somehow it matters more to me
Than if I were hurting myself
Save you
I'll save you
*****

That day at school Seiya remained relatively quiet throughout his classes. Even his usual routine of periodically poking Usagi with his pen or fiddling with her ponytails when the teacher wasn’t looking seemed only half-hearted. This behavior was unusual enough for Seiya that it was beginning to concern Taiki and Yaten, who sent more and more worried looks towards each other as the day wore on.

Finally the lunch bell rang, but before either Taiki or Yaten could confront Seiya, he shot out the door faster than either of them could catch up with, leaving them to only blink and stare at each other blankly.

"What’s up with him?" Usagi asked, brow furrowed slightly.

Yaten just shrugged and decided that since he couldn’t do anything about it at the moment, he’d forget about it and go about getting his lunch as usual. He was just leaving the classroom, intent on heading towards his tree, when he felt a familiar touch on his arm. He turned, glancing up questioningly.

"Wait a minute please," Taiki murmured, his voice even and low enough that only Yaten would be able to hear it. Yaten blinked slowly, surprised by the intensity in Taiki’s eyes. "If you can spare some time, may I speak with you, please?"

Yaten’s eyes widened slightly at Taiki’s words, and at the gentle sense of pleading he could feel in the way Taiki’s fingers tightened against his arm.

"Of course!" Yaten said, voice rising with the force of his shock and a tinge of exasperation. "Taiki, what…"

Taiki released Yaten’s arm and closed his eyes, shaking his head before he gestured ahead of himself.

"It doesn’t matter where we go…anywhere you’re comfortable," Taiki said quietly, and Yaten stared at him for another moment before he tightened his grip on his bento and his book, pulling them defensively against his chest. He couldn’t seem to stop the way he was breathing harshly, or the way his heart was pounding in his ears as he led Taiki through the halls and then outside into the grey light of an overcast day. Taiki was frightening him. It would have been foolish to deny it, and yet the thought was so despicable that his mind rebelled against it nonetheless.

He knew he couldn’t go to the tree…too many people knew about that now. He didn’t really know of a more secluded place, but Taiki seemed to sense that Yaten was floundering. Yaten felt Taiki’s hand brush his arm again, and he shuddered slightly, glancing up just in time to watch something sharp---something cold, something like regret---pass across Taiki’s eyes before Taiki led Yaten around the side of the school.

Yaten blinked, surprised, when Taiki pushed aside some bushes and gestured Yaten to go forward on the small path Taiki had created. For a moment Yaten wondered if Taiki was serious, but when he walked forward, he as surprised to find that hidden behind the bushes was a miniature sanctuary: a quiet, enclosed space complete with a bench. The way Taiki easily slid into place on the bench told Yaten that Taiki came to this place frequently.

"It used to be a proper part of the grounds," Taiki explained when he saw the way Yaten was staring at their surroundings, at the way the canopy of trees formed a bower over the little hideaway. "They’ve just let it become overgrown. Mizuno-kun told me about it when I told her I was having trouble finding a quiet place."

Yaten glanced towards Taiki, mouth opening automatically to let some snide comment slip about Taiki’s relationship with ‘Mizuno-kun’, but the moment he saw the dark purple Taiki’s normally-soft eyes had gone, the words died on his lips and he remembered his fear.

Yaten swallowed sharply, staring back into Taiki’s eyes just long enough to allow himself to develop enough annoyance to push back against the fear.

"Taiki, what did you mean, ‘if I could spare some time’? What were you implying!? You should know you don’t have to ask…Taiki, we’re…"

His words bit off sharply when Taiki’s eyes fell closed.

Yaten could feel his heart pounding in his ears again, and this time he believed he could feel it in his throat too. It was sickening, nauseating in a way he hadn’t often felt.

"Taiki, you’re scaring me," Yaten whispered, scared beyond the ability for pretense.

Taiki’s eyes opened and he regarded Yaten for a moment in silence, his eyes lingering on Yaten’s small, slender hands as they trembled.

"Sit down, please," Taiki said finally, in a voice so quiet Yaten almost didn’t hear him.

Yaten could have screamed at Taiki’s typical politeness, the formality of his language. Normally it didn’t bother him because that was just Taiki’s way, but now, in this moment, it scraped along Yaten’s fragile nerves.

Yaten hesitantly sat down next to his friend, wide eyes fixed on Taiki’s profile.

"Yaten…" Taiki murmured, bringing up a hand to rub his forehead tiredly, finally showing a crack in the mask. His eyes fell closed again, but not before Yaten caught a glimpse of the pain in them. The depth of that pain surprised him---the turmoil of emotion he felt battering his barriers surprised him---but that was typical of Taiki. He was usually so good at hiding himself, hiding his true feelings, that it *would* come as a surprise even to those closest to him that he was in agony.

"Does it seem to you that lately something is…missing?" Taiki said quietly, dropping his hand and turning, opening his eyes---once more calm, cool pools of lavender that revealed nothing---to regard Yaten curiously. "Does it seem as though we’re losing something?"

Yaten’s face was frozen in a look of almost horrified confusion.

"What are you talking about, Taiki?" he asked, his own voice dropping to nearly a whisper.

Taiki shook his head slightly and turned away again, this time keeping his eyes on something in his mind as he continued to speak.

"When we came here, we were always together…we spent every moment together, because all we had to rely on was each other," Taiki murmured, glancing down towards his hand, resting in his lap palm up. Yaten too turned his gaze downwards, but he couldn’t see what it was about Taiki’s palm that fascinated the other man so. "I remember, when we first transferred to this school, every day we ate lunch together on the roof of the school."

Yaten went back to staring at Taiki’s profile, frowning with concern and incomprehension.

"Yes, but then one time we interrupted Tsukino-san while she was writing one of her little love letters to her alleged overseas boyfriend, and we decided that maybe the roof wasn’t as private as we’d thought, so we stopped going there. But it was the only private place, so we gave up."

"But does that mean we had to stop eating together?" Taiki said, one eyebrow drifting upwards slightly before he frowned a bit. "After that, Seiya started disappearing during the lunch hours…spending time with Tsukino-san and her friends, or spending his time alone. You started spending your time reading under that tree you like so much. And I started trying to find a quiet place to read or write poetry."

Yaten was silent for a moment, and when he did finally speak, his voice was hoarse.

"It’s just lunch, Taiki…we’re still together all the time. At home, at the studio, at our live shows…"

"It’s not really about the lunch hour, Yaten," Taiki said, smiling slightly as he closed his eyes. The bitterness in his smile stung Yaten’s heart even more deeply than his words. "It’s just an example. I don’t think we *are* together all the time anymore."

Yaten stared at him until his eyes started to burn with the pain of unreleased tears.

"What are you saying?" Yaten hissed finally, and Taiki jumped slightly at the sound of Yaten’s book and bento hitting the ground. When he glanced over, Yaten had balled his hands into fists. "We still rely on each other, Taiki! Who else do we have to rely on!?"

Yaten caught his breath, and Taiki watched as a single tear rolled down Yaten’s cheek.

"Just because one of us is enamored with this planet doesn’t mean *we’re* falling apart," Yaten shouted, getting to his feet. "It doesn’t mean we’re losing something or that anything’s missing. We still rely on each other…we’re still together…we’ll go on singing, and we’ll find her. Are you saying you want to give up!? Damn you, Taiki!"

He had reached the bushes and started to push them aside when he felt Taiki’s hands close around his wrists, pulling him back against the taller man’s body.

"Let me go!" Yaten nearly screamed, his voice made rough by the sound of his sobs. He couldn’t stop them, suddenly---they wracked through his body, hard and painful, each one harsh as though it were being torn from him by force. "Stop it!!"

He felt Taiki’s hands gently pull his hands up towards his chest, allowing Taiki to gather Yaten closer back against him, and Yaten struggled harder until he felt Taiki’s soft exhalation of breath against his scalp.

Taiki sighed, dropping his head to nuzzle his nose lightly into Yaten’s hair.

"Shh…Healer," he murmured, his tone soft and soothing, for a moment sounding almost exactly like Maker…and something broke in Yaten’s mind. Rather than struggling, in the next second Yaten had turned around and launched himself at Taiki, arms squeezed tightly around Taiki’s neck as he sobbed brokenly against Taiki’s shoulder.

"Shh," Taiki repeated, gently rubbing Yaten’s back, trying to soothe away the tremors that wracked the smaller man’s body. One hand made its way up into Yaten’s hair, stroking Yaten’s bangs back away from where they’d plastered themselves to his face, slick with his tears. "It’s all right…I’m sorry, Yaten. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you…I would never deliberately hurt you. You know that."

Yaten couldn’t have answered if he had tried, but it didn’t matter; he knew he didn’t have to say anything, knew instinctively that Taiki understood his answer by the way Taiki’s hands grew even more gentle against his back and hair.

"And you know that Seiya would never deliberately hurt you," Taiki continued in the same soft, lulling tone of voice, his chin resting lightly against the top of Yaten’s head. "He gets preoccupied…he acts insensitive, and he doesn’t notice the way he affects people…but he would never deliberately hurt you."

Yaten nodded against Taiki’s shoulder, just enough to let Taiki know that he’d heard and understood his words.

"It’s all right," Taiki murmured again, his hand sliding soothingly through Yaten’s hair. "I’m sorry…"

Yaten knew Taiki, was familiar enough with the swell of emotion he felt at being so close to his friend, to know that Taiki genuinely meant his words, including what he’d said about Seiya. But he also knew Taiki well enough to know that he had also genuinely meant everything he’d said earlier.

And what hurt so badly…what made Yaten feel as though every breath was like swallowing fire, every sob like his chest was being ripped apart…was that Taiki’s words had somehow seemed to crystallize so many of Yaten’s own fears…the doubts he’d felt recently, alone and in secret, things he would never have told the others because he had felt foolish and ashamed for doubting them…

But to know that Taiki felt it too…

He closed his eyes, trying desperately to shut out the thought and focus only on the warmth of Taiki’s arms around him as the shudders finally started to subside, the sobs dying away.

After all, deadening fear, drowning emotion in apathy was what Yaten was best at. He’d done it before…he could do it now, and press onward, and hope that Taiki was professional enough to do the same.

*****

Seiya waited on the roof of the school for what to him felt like an eternity, which meant that in reality it was surely no more than a few minutes. He had always had a short attention span; he wouldn’t have bothered to deny the fact. Even as he waited, hiding himself behind one of the walls in the hope that he wouldn’t be seen prematurely by his target, he found his mind wandering, unable to settle on any one particular topic.

Idly, he wondered if he was going crazy. Surely if anyone else had taken a peek inside his head and seen the wild assortment of images, fantasies and memories of so many different people and places---Earth, Kinmoku, Kakyuu, Usagi, Sailor Moon, Yaten, Healer---they would have declared him to need immediate mental help. The thought almost made him smile---almost, but not quite. He was still feeling a little bit too melancholy to smile. For all of his bluster that morning, deep down inside, where he intended to hide his feelings as best as he could from Taiki and Yaten, his heart was aching.

Luckily, before he could drive himself any further to distraction, he heard the distinct squeak of the door opening and the sound of light footsteps on the pavement of the roof. Cautiously, he inched around the corner of his hiding place and glanced out to see who it was. He caught sight of her just as she settled herself against the chain link fence at the edge of the roof, a clipboard in her lap.

"Od---" He started to call out to her, but even before the first syllable could fully form itself, before it could become loud enough that anyone other than him would have heard it, he cut himself off, because she was touching pen to paper, and for some reason, he felt compelled to watch and listen.

"Ai suru Mamo-chan," she began, saying the words out loud to herself as she traced them out on the paper. Almost immediately, she lifted the pen to her lips, nibbling gently on the end as she considered what to write.

Seiya watched, smiling slightly, finding her pretty frown endearing.

"Hm…well, first I’ll update you on what I was telling you yesterday," Usagi decided, touching her pen back to the letter and starting to write. "You remember how I was telling you Seiya fell asleep at school and Yaten-kun had to take him home? I think Seiya must be really sick…he doesn’t seem like himself today, and Taiki-san and Yaten-kun seem worried."

Seiya blinked. /They do?/ he thought, resisting the urge to scratch his head.

"I think maybe the Three Lights push themselves too hard…working, working, working, along with school work and everything else," Usagi continued, her tone growing more thoughtful as her pen moved smoothly along the page. "Whoever it is that they’re looking for, I hope they find her soon…I wouldn’t want them to hurt themselves, and I’m sure she wouldn’t want that either."

Seiya caught his breath, bringing up a hand to his chest as he felt his heart suddenly start to pound.

"But maybe I’m reading too much into the situation," Usagi said, suddenly chuckling softly and shaking her head. "What would I know? Well, I guess that’s about all for today. I love you with all my heart, Mamo-chan…please write back soon."

Seiya watched in silence as she signed the letter, folded it up, and placed it in an envelope, preparing it to send off later that day. When she’d finally placed the envelope away inside her bag and gotten out her lunch, he softly cleared his throat and made his way out from his hiding place.

"Yo, Odango," he greeted her, and he grinned at the loud sound she made, obviously startled. "Gomen, gomen…I didn’t mean to scare you."

"Seiya!" she exclaimed, a hand at her chest as she tried to catch her breath. "What are you doing here?"

"Thought I’d spend lunch out on the roof," Seiya answered with a shrug, and he watched Usagi stiffen ever so slightly as he settled down to sit next to her, making sure he was quite close to her. "Do you mind?"

"No…of course not," she said, a bit uncomfortably. "But Seiya, where’s your lunch?"

"Ah…I wasn’t hungry," he answered truthfully with another quick shrug, and Usagi turned to look at him a bit doubtfully, lifting an eyebrow. He laughed. "What?"

"Seiya…are you okay?" she asked delicately after a moment. "You seem a little…funny, today. And yesterday…"

She trailed off, shaking her head.

"I’m fine!" he exclaimed, flexing his biceps and grinning. "Can’t you tell?"

She gave him another sideways glance before shrugging a bit and turning her attention back to her sandwich.

"Odango…" he said softly after another moment passed in silence, and she turned, quickly swallowing when she saw the gentle smile on his face.

"What is it?" she asked, eyebrows lifting.

"I’m a little embarrassed," he said, glancing down towards where his hands were folded in his lap, "but I need to ask you a favor."

"What kind of favor?" she asked, swallowing again, her voice shaking a bit.

"It’s about…house-training," he said, glancing up to gauge her expression. For a moment she stared at him in frank disbelief, eyebrows twitching upwards again, until finally he started to laugh. "I meant for the cat, Odango!!"

"Ah, that’s right!" Usagi exclaimed, bursting out in laughter herself, rocking back and forth along with him as she realized the mistake of assumption she’d made. "But you know…it’s been quite a while since you got the kitten, Seiya…you haven’t house-trained her yet?"

"No," he said, blushing. "Taiki and I are terrible at it. We’ve tried and tried, but…we haven’t had much luck. Is there any chance you and your friends could help us?"

She smiled warmly and nodded, and laughed softly when he let out a loud sigh of relief.

"When?"

"Would tomorrow work for you? Sometime in the morning or early afternoon…we’re going to the studio at about three."

"Yes, that should be fine," Usagi said, smile widening. "I’ll check with the others, and if there’s any problem, I’ll let you know…ano…somehow."

"I’ll call you tonight and ask, ne?" he said with a smile, and she nodded, then watched as he got to his feet.

"Where are you going?" she asked, frowning prettily again.

"I’ll leave you alone to enjoy your lunch, if you want," he answered, bowing slightly before he turned to go.

"No," he heard, softly, and he turned, surprised to see the soft smile on her face.

"You don’t have to go," she continued, bowing her own head slightly. He watched, blinking with mild amazement, as she broke one of her sandwiches in half. "Here…you can share my lunch, if you decide you’re hungry."

He surprised himself by breaking out in a wide, warm grin.

"Thanks, Odango," he said brightly as he returned to her side and sat down, holding her eyes, wondering why suddenly he felt so incredibly warm. He accepted the sandwich, his fingers lightly brushing hers as he took it from her. She didn’t seem to notice, but to him the touch came as a light shock: it sent tingles down his spine, just as Kakyuu’s touch used to do. He might have stopped to wonder about that, but he didn’t get the chance, because Usagi was already talking, chattering on about some inconsequential thing, and in spite of himself, he was joining in with her, forgetting about all of his melancholy and drowning in her simple, light-hearted joy.

It was surprisingly…freeing, to just let go and talk and laugh like that. He hadn’t felt quite as comfortable with anyone other than Taiki and Yaten since they’d left Kinmoku, and he might have assumed that it would feel strange…that he’d feel homesick. But all he felt was…relief.

Sweet, blissful relief.

*****

"Yaten?"

Yaten heard the voice, but only distantly, and he didn’t care enough to answer. He was staring out the window, chin in hand as he nibbled lightly on his lower lip. Every now and then, he would tap the pen in his other hand once, twice against the open notebook on the table in front of him before he would fall into contemplative silence again. But his eyes never left the window; his focus never once strayed from the sight of the raindrops slowly forming crystalline, perfect pools against the glass before they melted away. Such perfection encapsulated in nothing more than a instant, there one second and gone the next…

/What are we doing?/

"Moshi moshi? Yaten!"

The urgency in his companion’s tone was just enough to finally break through the haze he’d surrounded himself with, and slowly…ever so slowly…his eyes turned away from the window. He blinked, some of the fuzz clearing from his brain when he caught sight of Taiki’s worried expression.

"What is it?" he asked, blinking again when he heard how low and husky his voice was, almost as though he hadn’t used it in some time.

"Are you all right, Yaten?" Taiki asked, frowning deeply, his book lying abandoned in his lap as he focused all his attention on his band mate. His eyes were soft and…heavy, somehow, Yaten thought, with some kind of mixed emotion Yaten wasn’t quite familiar with.

"Me?" Yaten murmured, with another slow blink. "Why?"

"Yaten, you’ve been staring out the window for the past hour," Taiki said quietly, closing his eyes as he reached up to take off his glasses. Yaten’s eyes fell to the spectacles, to Taiki’s slender fingers as he slowly folded his glasses and then leaned forward to place them on the table. There was such care in Taiki’s touch, such…gentleness. Maker had always had beautiful hands. They looked…so different, now, like this.

Yaten closed his eyes.

"I’ve never seen you stay in one place for so long without falling asleep," Taiki said, quirking an eyebrow upwards as he opened his eyes and turned back to watching his silent companion. "Unless of course you’ve finally learned to sleep with your eyes open."

Tap. Tap.

"You’ve been silent since dinner," Taiki continued, eyes now fixed on Yaten’s hands. He never missed anything…it was rather irritating, Yaten decided. "I’ve never known you to go so long without complaining about something."

Tap. Tap. Yaten’s fingertips closed a little more tightly around his pen.

"And you and Seiya have spent the day skirting around each other like mice in the elephant’s cage," Taiki said, his voice growing a bit deeper. "I’ve never known you two to go so long without arguing at least once."

Tap. The pen stilled against the notebook. Yaten’s knuckles paled to a telling white color, and Taiki’s eyes narrowed slightly.

"Taiki," Yaten said finally, in the same soft, husky voice he’d heard earlier, but not quite as hoarse. "You make me sound like a total brat."

"You are a total brat."

Yaten opened his eyes and turned his head, seeking and meeting Taiki’s eyes, fully expecting the gentle sparkle of humor he found within the soft lavender.

"Thanks a lot," Yaten muttered, narrowing his eyes in a mild glare, but the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth gave him away.

"Come here, please," Taiki said softly, lifting a hand palm up to punctuate his request.

Yaten sighed quietly, closing his eyes, but gave in after little more than a moment’s hesitation. He left his pen behind as he got slowly to his feet and made his way across the space from the dining table to the living area, where Taiki sat. For the fourth time that week, he tripped on his way over to the couch and nearly fell, and he let out a quite cry as he tumbled---directly into Taiki’s arms. He listened to the low sound of Taiki’s chuckle as he glanced down, glaring with all his might at the video game controllers tangled around his feet: *Seiya’s* goddamned game controllers. He was always leaving them out in the middle of the floor, no matter how often Yaten told him to put them out of the way somewhere.

"Ano baka!" Yaten hissed as he untangled himself with Taiki’s help, and Taiki was still laughing quietly as the two of them settled onto the couch. Yaten stiffened a bit at first when Taiki pulled him up against his side in a loose embrace, but he relaxed slowly, focusing on the sound of Taiki’s laughter and the way it filled him with a strange warmth. It was always nice to witness something rare, and Taiki’s laughter had become so rare lately that his companions had learned to cherish it.

"Saa…" Taiki murmured, again running his hand gently through Yaten’s hair until Yaten finally relaxed enough to rest his head on Taiki’s shoulder, closing his eyes as he enjoyed Taiki’s touch. Just like Kakyuu-hime…this was exactly how she always used to comfort him… "Tell me what’s wrong, Healer."

Yaten didn’t answer, instead snuggling a little bit closer against Taiki’s side and gritting his teeth, his eyes sliding closed as he pressed his face to Taiki’s shoulder.  

"Are you still upset about what I said earlier?" Taiki asked, leaning down to place a gentle kiss to the top of his friend’s head. "I am sorry, you know. I honestly didn’t intend to hurt you, Yaten."

Yaten let out a soft sigh and shivered a bit, and he felt Taiki’s hand pause briefly before it continued its steady caress through Yaten’s hair.

"You didn’t hurt me. Yes, your words hurt me, but only because…you were expressing some of the doubts I’ve been feeling myself."

Taiki’s silence was evidence enough that this didn’t come as any great surprise to him. Yaten sucked in a quick breath through his teeth.

"It’s this place. If anything can succeed in driving us apart, it’ll be this horrible place, and all its horrible people," he said from between his teeth, grinding them quietly as he opened eyes blazing with fury to stare at Taiki’s hand where it rested in Taiki’s lap. "How can Seiya trust them so easily? How can---"

His words were cut off abruptly when one of Taiki’s long fingers came to rest against his lips.

"That’s…not quite what I meant by what I said, Yaten," Taiki said quietly, and Yaten caught his breath, turning to stare up towards Taiki’s face. He was surprised by the softness he saw in Taiki’s eyes.

"Taiki…"

"I admit, I don’t quite understand my feelings," Taiki said, his hand closing briefly into a loose fist. He stared down towards it, just as he had earlier that day, and after a moment Yaten realized what he was staring at: the fading scars of the dozen tiny cuts on his fingers. He’d explained to his band mates that he’d acquired them by not being careful in the school greenhouse, specifically while spending some time in the rose garden---but that wasn’t like Taiki in the least, and the explanation didn’t add up. Whatever had truly happened, he had also confessed to them that it had been Tsukino Usagi who had bandaged the wounds.

Yaten’s brow furrowed.

"But then…I never understand my feelings," Taiki whispered, smiling softly for a moment---there was that bitterness again, brief but so sharp---before his expression became entirely serious. "But I don’t think the people of this planet are inherently dangerous or hateful. During our time here, I’ve witnessed their compassion, and their capacity for wisdom…"

Yaten gasped, pulling sharply away from Taiki’s embrace, causing Taiki to blink and turn to him in surprise.

"Don’t tell me you’ve been seduced by those girls too!?" Yaten accused him, breath coming hard and fast in his chest as he glared at his friend.

"Those girls…?" Taiki repeated, frowning in confusion. "You mean the fans…?"

"No, I don’t mean the fans!" Yaten snapped. "Those girls, those wretched girls at school who’ve bewitched Seiya! Your little infatuation with your Mizuno-kun or whatever is fine, but don’t tell me you’ve fallen under their sway the same way!"

"Yaten!" Taiki exclaimed, sounding both shocked and hurt. "What do you mean? As a matter of fact…yes, I was talking about those girls, among others…but I’m confused…I thought…to be honest, I thought you had befriended them as well! You’ve…well, you’ve tolerated them far better than most humans we’ve come across, and then…your birthday…"

"That wasn’t my idea!" Yaten huffed, closing his eyes and turning away to hide the fact that Taiki’s words had struck back at something he’d tried to bury.

"But…" Taiki whispered. "But…Yaten, that day, when we celebrated your birthday at Tsukino-san’s house…I haven’t seen you relax that much in ages! You seemed like you were having so much fun…Seiya and I thought finally we’d done something right, to see you smile again…"

Yaten’s eyes snapped open, confusion flaring in them as he turned to his friend. He almost fell off the couch in shock when he saw the tears in Taiki’s eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Yaten said harshly, trying for a snap, but most of the fight had been knocked out of him by the force of his surprise. "I smile all the time."

"No…" Taiki murmured, shaking his head as he brought up a hand over his eyes, discreetly wiping the tears away. "I don’t mean the smile you show the media and the fans, and us half the time lately…I mean a genuine smile."

Yaten’s mouth fell open as he tried to come up with some response.

"Yaten…" Taiki trailed off, and Yaten watched as Taiki slowly leaned forward, folding his hands and intertwining his fingers before bringing his forehead down to rest against his knuckles. He seemed to be drawing into himself slightly, uncomfortable with the prospect of talking about his feelings at all…Yaten knew that for Taiki, his emotions were a very private matter.

"The truth is that all of this…your birthday…the cat…and I suspect the way Seiya’s been acting lately…it’s all been an attempt to try to get you to…"

Yaten felt his breath catch in his throat again, and a pressure on his chest, threatening him with the very real problem of not being able to breathe.

"To get me to…?"

He heard Taiki’s sigh, and felt his stomach lurch when he realized that the hitch in it had been an attempt to control a sob.

"To…open up…to smile…to laugh…something…*anything*," Taiki said, so quietly he was almost whispering, his voice so shaky now that it was barely recognizable. "Seiya and I haven’t spoken about it…but I don’t need to ask to know that he feels it too…Yaten…we feel as though…"

There it was again…the same hitching sigh, the same shudder passing through Taiki’s shoulders.

"…as though we’re losing you," Taiki whispered, and then he fell silent.

Yaten was still for so long that when he did finally breathe, it came into his lungs as a great gasp, and he felt his hands tightening in the fabric of the couch where they’d gripped at some point, needing something, *anything* to hold onto.

"Healer…we all grieve," Taiki said quietly, voice growing stronger as he began to breathe more calmly. "We all feel the horror and the tragedy of what’s happened to us. And this is hard for all of us…the ruse, the disguise…it’s *hard*, I won’t deny it. And of course we all long to find her…we all *need* to find her…"

Yaten heard another sound somewhere between a sigh and a sob echo into the brief silence, and closed his eyes tightly when he realized that it had come from him.

"We all mourn, and we’re all tired, and we’re all homesick," Taiki continued, slowly lifting his head, staring with bloodshot eyes towards the empty fireplace across the room. "But Yaten…through all of this, what we have is *each other*…if you shut us out now, if you won’t let us in…what’s left? If we lose you…if you’re lost to grief, and we can’t help you…it would tear us apart."

Yaten brought his hands up to his face, trying to stop himself…he was crying so hard now that it hurt, a dull ache spreading through his entire body, just like earlier that day.

"Without you, it would be meaningless…there are three of us, or there are none," Taiki said, finally turning to look at Yaten, the determination in his gaze burning into Yaten’s soul. "That’s what I meant earlier, Yaten…please…don’t let us fall apart. If you need us, we’re here…I’m trying, and Seiya’s trying…we’re doing the best we can…"

His voice was cut off into a soft sound of surprise when Yaten suddenly launched himself into Taiki’s arms, clinging to him tightly around the neck as he buried his face against Taiki’s shoulder and cried for all he was worth. His sobs wracked his slender frame so much that Taiki quickly closed his arms tightly, protectively around the smaller man, and for the second time that day, Taiki winced at the fact that he seemed to be embracing little more than skin and bones.

"Please, Yaten, stop…" Taiki murmured against Yaten’s temple as he stroked Yaten’s back, trying with all his might to soothe away the shudders. "You’ll hurt yourself."

Yaten heard the advice and understood it, but he couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t stop the sobs that wrenched out of him. They were beyond his control, just as they had been earlier that day, and each one stung so badly as it ripped its way out of his body that it felt as though they must have been held captive within him for far too long.

He couldn’t tell how much time passed before he finally calmed down. Time seemed irrelevant within the warm circle of Taiki’s arms and with Taiki’s hands stroking his back and hair, stopping just long enough to release the tie so his hair could flow freely in Taiki’s grasp. All he knew was that eventually, under the guiding touch of Taiki’s gentle hands, his sobs slowed and stopped, the shudders dissipating with them until finally he felt like little more than a trembling mass of flesh and bone in Taiki’s arms. At some point he realized that somehow, he had finally accepted Taiki’s touch the same way he would have accepted Maker’s; Taiki’s hands soothed him just as easily now as Maker’s ever-present gentleness.

Time really became a non-issue for a certain period as Taiki slowly stroked Yaten’s hair until Yaten began to feel his mind drifting away, lost in the aftermath of his own emotion and the wave of concern and love he could feel from Taiki, from the touch of his forehead to Taiki’s skin. And then, what felt like no more than a few moments later, he jerked slightly in Taiki’s grasp, blinking as he realized that he must have fallen asleep. Taiki’s arms had settled comfortably around Yaten’s waist, and when Yaten looked up, he found Taiki with his head back against the couch, eyes closed as though in sleep. But the moment Yaten looked up at him, Taiki lifted his head and opened his eyes, and the clearness in them revealed that he hadn’t even dozed.

Their eyes met, both of them silent and uncertain of what to say, until finally Yaten opened his mouth, and Taiki lifted an eyebrow, clearly curious to hear what he would have to say.

"I have to go talk to Seiya," Yaten said, his words a quick rush as he got to his feet a bit shakily and started towards the stairs.

"Ah…Yaten!" Taiki called after him, sounding hesitant. "Seiya…right now?"

"Yes, right now!" Yaten said, without slowing down or turning around.

"Oh dear…" Taiki said to himself, bringing up a hand to cover his face. Considering the fact that Seiya had disappeared into his bedroom right after dinner with only a brief word to Taiki that he was going to take a nap, and he was most likely still sleeping…well, Taiki just hoped that this didn’t lead to another argument.

*****

END PART SEVEN