Fandom: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon: Sailor Stars (manga)
Date Finished:
Classification: Romance, Angst, Humor
Pairing: Taiki/Setsuna, Seiya/Yaten, Seiya/Usagi, Rei/Minako
Rating: NC-17

Silence
By Elsewhere
elsewherecw@shaw.ca

Disclaimer: The characters and story of BSSM are not mine. Oops. ;P

All lyrics quoted are from songs by Delerium. In particular, I have quoted the following: ‘Silence’, performed and written by Sarah McLachlan. I intend no infringement to any of the involved parties.

Distribution: If you want this story for any page other than the ones I’ve sent it to, please ask me first, so I know where it goes.

Spoilers: Volumes 16 through 18 of the Bishoujo Senshi Seeraa Muun manga. This story is based almost exclusively on the manga; the Three Lights/Starlights are exclusively female, and there will be other aspects of the story that will seem strange or unfamiliar to you if you’re only familiar with the Sailor Stars anime.

I will occasionally be quoting dialogue directly from the manga, and for this I have quoted kurozuki’s translations: http://www.kurozuki.com/takeuchi/

I intend no infringement to kurozuki. I have quoted his translations because I have the greatest respect for them.

Warnings: Homosexuality, cross-dressing, rampant depression and apathy.

Summary: Loneliness and homesickness…the perfect conditions for developing an obsession with something---or someone---which seems somehow intriguing or stimulating to an intellectual mind. For Taiki Kou, the mysterious and beautiful Meioh Setsuna provides exactly the right amount of intrigue to be a stimulus to her lonely, homesick heart…so much so that eventually, her fascination with Setsuna becomes an obsession.  

Glossary:

ne - an all-purpose word to get someone’s attention, to ask for confirmation, or used in a variety of other situations
odango - dumpling
odango atama - dumpling head---refers to the type of hair style Usagi wears, with two buns, one on either side of the head

*****
Give me release
Witness me
I am outside
Give me peace
*****

It seemed, for a certain number of moments, as though time had stopped. The stillness had reached such a point that time had slowed to a crawl and then eventually, it had seemed to stop; she had checked. The clock no longer seemed to be moving.

"One month."

She could almost hear the cogs turning as time settled back into its regular rhythm, the stillness broken by no more than a couple of quiet words. A glance to the clock showed that the hands were moving again, slowly but surely. It took only a moment for her to realize that it must have been she who had stopped, not time.

For time to stop…that was an impossibility, and she did not believe in impossible things.

Taiki Kou lifted her head, peering over the tops of her reading glasses towards the other end of the couch, where Yaten Kou sat, her own book lying forgotten in her lap as she stared pensively at the clock. Taiki wondered idly if the two of them had been thinking about the same thing.

"One month," Yaten repeated, in the same quiet, troubled voice. "We’ve been here a month, and still no sign of her. I’ve only just realized."

Taiki was silent for a long moment, lightly analyzing her companion from where she sat. Yaten was wearing a pair of jeans slung low on her hips and a loose shirt with a diving neckline that just barely revealed the first hints of the curves of her breasts. As soon as they got inside the house---as soon as they were safe---Yaten was always the first to pull off her tie, tossing it in a corner, the rest of her suit soon following. She would always close her eyes and let out the exact same little sigh of relief as she would unwrap her breasts from their tight binding and change into some other clothes---something more girlish.

Taiki didn’t own anything particularly girlish. She hadn’t felt the need to think things that far through during their stay here, and likewise, most nights when she came in the door, she was too tired to think things through to the degree Yaten did when it came to her clothing. She would usually loosen her tie, get herself something to drink, and sit down on the couch, glad for the rest. Some nights, she didn’t even remember to change her clothes or even loosen her bindings until she went to change for bed. For her, this was a matter of apathy.

For Seiya, it was different. Seiya had always been a bit of a tomboy, and she seemed not to mind posing as a man; in fact, she seemed to be enjoying it a bit. Taiki knew this irked Yaten somewhat. Yaten had certain ideas about identity, and she was afraid of losing, if not her identity, then at least her ideas.

Tonight, Yaten seemed particularly out of sorts. As she stared at the clock, she slowly pulled her lower lip between her teeth and began to worry at it. She was cautious about the endeavor---Taiki knew Yaten would never want to harm her face in any way---but the action displayed a certain nervousness nonetheless. Yaten’s hands, clasped over the book she held in her lap, were pale, the knuckles almost translucent.

It occurred to Taiki that Yaten hadn’t been eating much lately, and that if she looked a bit like she was fading away, it was entirely possible that she was.

"A month isn’t a terribly long time," Taiki said finally, adjusting her glasses on her nose. There it was in her voice---that same horrible, grinding apathy that kept her from caring as much as she should about her friend’s concern; that numb ennui that left her lying in her bed a few extra moments after the alarm each morning when she used to be an early riser, because her body didn’t want to move.

"It’s too long," Yaten said quietly, shaking her head, silver hair flying in either direction. "By now she could be…"

"It’s too soon to judge," Taiki said with sudden sharpness. She expected to be startled with herself, to feel the same surprise within her that she could see in Yaten’s lime-green eyes when she turned to meet Taiki’s gaze. But she didn’t feel surprised with herself. She felt nothing in particular as she got up, placed her book aside, and went into the kitchen to refill her water glass.

"After all," Seiya said, slowly stepping out of the shadows at the bottom of the staircase, "you’re the one who first said you felt her presence in Tokyo, Yaten."

"Seiya," Yaten said quietly, and Seiya offered her a soft smile as she walked over and sat down on the couch, propping her socked feet up on the coffee table casually.

"Don’t give up, Yaten," Seiya said, lightly touching Yaten’s arm. "We’ll find her."

Yaten nodded, curling up her knees towards her chest.

Taiki swallowed hard, tasting a brief bitterness that finally succeeded in surprising her. What should she have to be bitter about? Nothing, except that Yaten had reached out to her for reassurance, and she had turned away, leaving Yaten in Seiya’s far more competent hands.

She didn’t resent Seiya. She resented herself. What was this deadness that had overtaken her? A month truly wasn’t that long…

"Come on, squirt," Seiya said lightly, rubbing Yaten’s shoulders. "Bed time. Long day tomorrow, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember…don’t baby me," Yaten said, brushing away Seiya’s hands and getting to her feet. She dropped her book to lie on the table.

"You okay?" Seiya asked in the same light tone of voice, reaching out with her foot to poke Yaten’s leg. Yaten turned to offer Seiya a quick smirk and a mock salute.

"Of course, leader…I’m fine," Yaten replied before she padded off upstairs.

Seiya chuckled quietly as she got to her feet.

"I wonder about her sometimes," Seiya said with a grin as she came into the kitchen to get herself a glass of juice. Taiki simply grunted in response, turning to stand with her back resting against the counter.

Seiya was dressed extremely messily. The first few buttons of her shirt were undone, and Taiki could clearly see the top of the bandages wrapped tightly around Seiya’s chest. Seiya wore them comfortably, as though they didn’t constrict her breathing in the least; as though she was born to wear a man’s clothing, to bind her breasts and pretend she was someone else.

Seiya’s hair was as messy as her clothes, raven-colored curls sticking up in every direction as though she’d been running her hands through them, the long ponytail that tapered down her back in serious danger of coming loose. The blue ribbon that held it seemed like it would come free with only a few more movements. Seiya didn’t seem to notice, or if she did, she didn’t seem to care.

Taiki glanced down at herself, suit completely free of wrinkles, tie loosened and only the first button of her shirt undone, and wondered if she should somehow feel inferior.

"Ne…you all right?"

Taiki glanced up, surprised by what seemed an abrupt question. But when she met Seiya’s eyes, she realized that Seiya must have been looking at her for a couple of minutes. She could tell by that gentle look of sympathy in Seiya’s eyes. *That* somehow made her feel inferior, even though she knew that’s not at all what Seiya meant.

"Yes…just fine," Taiki replied simply, draining the last of her glass and putting it aside before she turned away. She didn’t want to face that look in Seiya’s eyes anymore, especially when she had no real answer to the question.

"We should be getting to bed, like you said," Taiki said quietly before she started upstairs. She didn’t stop or look back. She didn’t even let out the breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding until she was alone in her room.

She watched herself in the mirror as she stripped off her suit and then carefully unbound her breasts. She barely even noticed the ache anymore. Just that initial redness that she would massage away with unfeeling fingers, watching her reflection as though the person in the mirror was some kind of specimen, something unknown to her.

Did leaving your home really mean coming to lose yourself? she wondered. Questions like this began to occur to her more and more each night that she had to perform this ritual and, as she watched herself cautiously rub her sore breasts, she felt nothing.

*****

"So that’s Tokyo, eh?" Yaten said, leaning with her face nearly pressed to the tiny window of the airplane as she looked at the huge metropolis spread below them. "Hmph…doesn’t seem too impressive to me."

"It will doubtless be just like every other Earth city we’ve been in," Taiki said in a mildly bored tone from behind the computer technology magazine she was reading. "Noisy and crowded and full of unpleasant smells."

"I really don’t care what’s in it, as long as we get off this damn plane soon," Seiya said in a voice that verged on whining as she shifted a bit in her seat between her two companions.

"Honestly Seiya, we haven’t been on the plane *that* long," Yaten said, wrinkling her nose.

"Oh shut up," Seiya said, rolling her eyes. "Who was it this morning who was complaining so loudly that they hadn’t managed to get the required amount of beauty sleep? I think I can afford a little complaining time today."

"Well I *didn’t* get as much sleep as I need last night," Yaten said sourly. "*Somebody* in the next room was snoring really loudly."

"What!? I do *not* snore," Seiya said, seeming unable to decide whether to laugh out loud or be outraged.

"Next time I’ll tape it and prove it to you!" Yaten snapped.

"You do that…there’ll be nothing to tape!" Seiya said, waving a hand in the air. "I don’t snore. Maybe you were hearing Taiki from across the hall."

"Don’t try to pin this on me," Taiki said, a slight smile at the corner of her mouth. "And stop drawing attention to us."

"Oh whatever. If there are any reporters in the vicinity, I just want them to know that I DO NOT SNORE!!" Seiya shouted, and Yaten smacked a hand over Seiya’s mouth.

"Would you shut up for the stars’ sakes? People are really staring now…"

"So what!? You need to stop caring so much what people think of you, Yaten…"

The two of them were still bickering by the time the plane touched down, so Taiki was immensely relieved when she felt the slight bump of the plane’s wheels hitting the runway and knew that it would be over soon. She could feel a headache coming on. When the intercom came on to announce that they could now undo their seat belts and leave the plane, Taiki was the first out of her seat.

"See, I’m not the only one who was getting a cramp in my butt from sitting here so long," Seiya said as she stood up, groaning emphatically before she patted Taiki on the shoulder in an understanding manner.

"Honestly, could you say that a little louder?" Yaten grumbled, rolling her eyes as she too got up to stretch.

"Well, if you really think a cramp in my butt is so interesting…" Seiya began, then lifted her hands like a megaphone around her mouth.

Yaten grabbed Seiya’s hands, pulling them away as Seiya laughed.

"You’re such a jerk, you know that?" Yaten hissed, glancing around to see if anyone was looking at them oddly. Too many people were looking at them with that vacant ‘I’m your biggest fan’ look for her comfort, but that was all. "Come on, let’s go."

They got off the plane as quickly as they could, and with some quick maneuvering they managed to avoid the large crowd of fans that were waiting at the gate. It was always handy to be able to move faster than the average human eye could see. They slipped into the crowd, then broke through and out into a long hallway.

"So this is New Tokyo International Airport," Yaten said with a quiet sniff. "You’re right, Taiki; it looks like just about every other airport we’ve been in over the last month."

"Grey and boring," Seiya said, sighing and placing her hands behind her head as she walked. Then she suddenly stopped in place, her face going slack for a moment before her look of surprise was replaced with one of concentration.

"Seiya? What is it?" Yaten questioned, turning to look at the younger girl as she stood in the middle of the hallway, staring ahead with a sudden light in her eyes. Taiki too stopped to look back at Seiya, surprised by the sudden color in Seiya’s cheeks.

"I’m not sure…" Seiya murmured, shaking her head slightly. "But I feel something…a very strong presence of a star…"

Yaten’s eyes lit up immediately, while Taiki caught her breath.

"Could it be her!? Do you think she’s near here!?" Yaten demanded.

"I…don’t know," Seiya said, shaking her head, her eyes still sparkling. "You can’t feel anything?"

Yaten and Taiki both shook their heads.

"Let’s go this way," Seiya said, pointing ahead, and her companions both hurried to nod their heads and fall into step behind her. They followed her down the corridor until she stopped again, frowning slightly.

"No…it can’t be her…there are…two of them."

"Two?" Yaten repeated, lifting her head and squinting as though she could see ahead and spot the sources of the energy Seiya was picking up.

Suddenly Yaten stiffened and gasped.

"Seiya…do you feel…?"

"Yes…I feel it," Seiya said, gritting her teeth.

Taiki lifted her head. She too had felt the thrill of cold fear move through her veins. A familiar presence was among them…somewhere close.

"Galaxia," Taiki said grimly, and in the next second, all three of them had taken off at a run down the corridor. People paused to stare at them, but they didn’t care. They didn’t transform---they couldn’t with so many people watching, and there was no time to stop.

"There!" Seiya whispered suddenly, stopping and pointing forward. A few feet in front of them, a scene of horror slowly played itself out in front of their eyes, and they stood helpless to stop it; they were too late.

The victim was a young man, surely little more than twenty years old, and at first glance he didn’t seem like anything special. But now that they were closer to him, his aura was unmistakable to all three of his observers. The blonde girl next to him was giving off even stronger energy, and that energy was spiking and jolting as she grabbed for the man, trying to help him.

His body had jerked back away from her and he was glowing a brilliant white. The girl didn’t seem afraid of the light, reaching boldly for his body, only to gasp as she watched as something appeared out of his chest. The three intruders moved to get a better look, and could catch only a slight glimpse of a shimmering golden crystal before a hand appeared out of thin air and snatched the crystal up. Just as the man’s body began to fade, a woman in shining golden armor appeared briefly, holding on to the crystal. The woman turned, offering the blonde a brief, sadistic smile before she disappeared, leaving the blonde girl alone. The girl’s mouth opened wide in shock, tears at the corners of her eyes threatening to spill over, but before she could scream or say anything, her eyes rolled back into her head and she started to fall backwards.

Seiya let out a quick sound, surprising her companions, and rushed forward. The girl fell lightly into Seiya’s arms, and Seiya gently scooped her up, staring at her, seeing that she’d fainted.

Seiya glanced up at Taiki and Yaten, who had come up next to her.

"We’re too late," Seiya said quietly, her tone troubled. All of them were pale, shaken by the incident they’d just witnessed, and Seiya’s words implied more than she said. They were too late not only to save this one man, but perhaps it was too late for this planet. Galaxia was already here.

This did not bode well for finding their missing princess, and all of them knew it.

*****

They were halfway towards their destination when the girl finally awoke, blinking groggily and slowly lifting her head from where it had been resting against Seiya’s shoulder. Seiya had placed her in the middle seat in the cab, seeming unwilling to part from her. They had read on a tag on her little purse, one of those ‘If I’m lost, send me here’ things, that indicated her name was Tsukino Usagi---"A funny name, that," Yaten had commented---and that she lived in Juuban, which was, conveniently enough, where they were headed.

The girl seemed instantly disoriented, unsure of where she was, and the first thing she did was look up at Seiya, who was looking down at her, concerned. The girl blinked, perhaps because she recognized the pop idol sitting next to her, or perhaps because she still didn’t understand. She wore her hair in a strange, odango-type style that had caused Seiya to dub her ‘odango atama’ already. Yaten didn’t seem to like the fact that Seiya had confessed to finding the hairstyle cute.

"We’re in Shinagawa now," Seiya said, her voice still unusually quiet. "We’ll be in Juuban shortly."

The girl sat up quickly, causing Seiya to blink.

"I…I have to get off…" the girl stuttered, sounding mildly frightened. Seiya wanted to speak up, to tell her she didn’t need to be afraid, but before she could, she heard Yaten’s voice.

"Excuse me," Yaten said to the driver. She was sitting on the blonde’s other side, and had been eyeing her as though she was some kind of interesting bug they had picked up off the street. When the girl uttered her strange exclamation, Yaten’s expression dissolved into one of blatant shock. "Driver, this is fine."

The taxi pulled to a stop at the curb and the four of them piled out. Yaten bent to pay the driver and then watched as the cab drove away before turning her attention to the rabbit girl, as she thought of her, who was simply walking away.

"Hmph," Yaten said, wrinkling her nose a bit. "We brought her all the way here and she didn’t even say thanks."

Yaten let out a sharp cry when the flat of Seiya’s palm smacked into her face, a silent command for her to keep her thoughts to herself.

"Ow! Get your hand off my face, Seiya!!"

Seiya was merely staring after the girl with a thoughtful look on her face, and Taiki was glancing at their surroundings, trying to gauge how long of a walk they had from here to the condominium they’d rented.

"Seiya?" Yaten asked after a moment passed and Seiya was still staring in the disappeared Usagi’s direction.

"I wonder who she is?" Seiya asked aloud, explaining her thoughts. She turned to glance at her companions. "Such a strong aura…I feel the presence of a powerful Starseed within her. And the man she was with obviously had a Starseed that Galaxia wanted. Who could she be?"

"I don’t know," Taiki said, turning to lift an eyebrow at Seiya. "But we’ll probably find out soon enough. She lives in this area. That probably means she attends Juuban Koukou."

"Yes, exactly, so can we get going?" Yaten said, stretching a little and wincing as she heard her back crack.

Seiya slowly nodded, forcing a quick smile.

"Yeah…sure," she said, and then she tilted her head. "So…who knows the way by foot?"

"I think I’ve got it figured out," Taiki said, while Yaten made a face. "Follow me."

"Yep!" Seiya and Yaten both chirped, falling into step behind the taller girl as she began to walk.

*****

END PART ONE